Bad, Bad Renji Abarai
by XxAzn HomiexX
Summary: Renji is bad gangster who picks on the wrong girl to flirt with. Not much of a summary, but please read it! Then review please. I thank you in advance.


Hello everybody! You knowI say that to much . This is not a super lovey dovey sugar coated romance. Just lettin u know before you start readin. This is a song parody to bad, bad leroy brown.

Disclaimer: Don't own bleach, or bad, bad leroy brown. but oh how I wish on the first one.

(thought)

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Bad,Bad Renji Abarai

Down in the 78th district of rukongai, the worst part of town lived Renji Abarai. He was the baddest man there. He's the leader of a tough group of boys that call them self the Zabimaru gang. His very name sent chills down the toughest man in all of rukongai. He was an intimadating man, had tattos on his where his eybrows should be and stood about 6'2". All the downtown girls called him treetop lover and the guy's just called him sir. Renji liked to gamble and wore alot of classy clothes. He also liked to show off his sword Zabimaru which is what his gang was named after. Alot of poor souls got beaten to a pulp with that sword. That's how he got his name. He has a costume made lexus(yes the had cars there. It the new and improve rukongai. It's like the bad part of LA)and he keeps a razor in his shoe. You would think that the police would do something, but they were actually part of his gang. So Renji pretty much had all of the 78th district under his control. The other residents were forced to work for him and the taxes to him. They absolutley hated it, but what could they do? He could have them and their families killed in 30 minutes. They thought that he would run their town for ever untill yesterday.

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Yesterday

Renji was in a bart just doing his thing. You know, playings dice and drinking when he saw a girl he never saw before. She was sitting there alone with an empty glass in fron of her. She had pretty violet eyes and raven hair( A/N bet you know who it is). She semmed interesting and renji wanted her. So he stopped his game and casually walked over to her.

"Hey there pretty lady." Renji told her"Names Renji."

"Oh nice to meet you." The lady said uninterested, in fact she didn't even look at him when she spoke to him.

"I've never seen you here before, so where you from and are you just passin through"Renji asked

"That's to many questions at once so I'm not gonna answer."She said

"Excuse me!"Renji said surprised"Do you know who your talking to?"

"No, and I don't really care." She said starting to get annoyed.

(calm down renji, calm down. Deal with her after she sleeps with you) Renji thought to himself

"Sorry for being rude I've probably had to much to drink." Renji apologized.

"K"She said and then finally she looked at him. He had red hair and his eybrows were tattoed.

"You look funny"She said bluntly

"Ya well your short."renji retorted. That got him a kick in the shin ( a/n now ya gotta know who it is)

"wench.'' Renji muttured, but he said it quietly so he didn't get kicked again.

"Are you a gang member or something?" The lady asked

"Nope, I'm a gang leader."Renji said proudly

"Interesting." She said

"Do you like tough guys."Renji said somewhat seductivley.

"Yeah I know a few."She said

"Well I bet I'm better than all of them"Renji said in some way

"In your dreams."She said

"I just realized that I never asked your name." Renji said and looked at her as if to say 'tell me your name'

All he did was look at him like he was retarted then she said "What you want me to tell you my name?"

"Duh" Renji said

"Well then my name is Rukia Kurosaki." She said and smiled.

"And I'm Ichigo Kurosaki, her husband."A mans voice cut in. He was as tall as Renji and had bright orange hair.

"Hi Ichigo, got my drink?"The girls now known as Rukia asked.

"Yeah here."Ichigo said to her and handed her a drink. then he turned to Renji who just stood there dumbfounded.

"Where you flirting with my wife boy."Ichigo said in a scaryily calm voice.

Renji was so mad that this Ichigo just took the girl he was talking to that he forgot that he was her husband and yelled at him.

"Waht the hell! I was here first so back of before I have to kick your ass!"Renji barked

"The hell boy! I told you I'm her frikin husband or does a punk like you not know what that means!"Ichigo yelled back.

Renji got pissed and charged at Ichigo. He doged it with ease and punched him in the back... hard. Renji fell, but got up quickly and tried to punch Ichigo. While the two men fought Rukia just sat there drinking her drink.

Then she shouted"Bet! Make your bets here!"and everyone in the bar started rushing over.

"5 Bucks on the redhair!" Someone in the crowed shouted.

"20 bucks on orange!"Another yelled. Rukia placed her own bet on Ichigo of course and wrote everyone elses down and took their money.

"Okay no more betting! Sit down and watch the show!" Rukia said to the people once she got everyone's bet down. (I'm gonna make alot of cash out of this. Ahh fast money.) Rukia thought as she drank her drink. After a about 15 minutes of fighting Renji was on the floor beaten to a bloddy pulp. There was bruises and cuts every where. Ichigo got hit, but it was only like 3 bruises.

Ichigo leaned down and told Renji "If you ever mess with my wife or anyone else in this town I'll make sure you'll be in alot more pain than this." then he kicked renji on the side and walked away.

"Come on Rukia lets go."Ichigo told his wife. She got up and walked out, but not before collecting her money.

"hehe nice job Stawberry yu got me 100 bucks."Rukia said as she counted her money when they got to the room they were renting.

"I told you to stop calling me that bitch!"Ichigo yelled. After that screames were heard and they weren't from pleasure.

Meanwhile with Renji the town felt bad for him so fixed him up. Renji became a hard working citizen of society when he got out of the hospital. He never once touched another human being beacause when he just thought oh it the orande haired man that kicked ass would appear. Whenever that happened poor Renji had to go home and change his pants.

Renji Abarai learened a very important lesson that day. Never mess with another man's wife or else...insert pissing in pants and crying like a school girl.

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Well that's it everyone. Please review and tell me whatcha think. I really want to know. Well that's it goodbye peoples! 


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